Summer is typically a wonderful time of year, filled with warm days and sunshine, trips to the beach and pool, and barbecues with family and friends. However, this year, I can't help but feel so alone. Everyone seems far away, and I find myself longing for connection with someone—anyone.
In an effort to lift myself out of this feeling of loneliness, I remembered the day I taught my daughter to ride a bicycle. She was so scared—it was rainy, and the park was empty. I could see the fear in her eyes and hear it in her voice as she tried to convince me to stay home. But with some gentle encouragement, she finally gave it a try. Her smile when she managed to ride a bit on her own was unforgettable. I kept telling her, “You got this, baby,” and she did. The way back home was easier, and we were both so happy.
Why does this memory bring a smile to my face now, years later, yet I still feel lonely? Today, I realized that I need to find happiness within myself. Sometimes I do feel happy, especially with my daughter, but there are times when that feeling eludes me, and I wonder if something is missing. I don't want to remarry, but I can't quite identify what the missing piece might be.
Maybe the missing piece is writing and talking through these feelings of loneliness. As I write this, I feel a bit better, a sense of relief. People often recommend keeping a journal, so perhaps mine starts here. Maybe I'll call it "A Diary of a 40-Year-Old Girl" or "The Lonely Girl Diary." This is my decision to start here and start small. If I can do it, so can you.
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